Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Mental Struggle

School is taking a toll on me.  Part of me wishes I had done the surgery after the school year ended but I have a feeling things wouldn't have been any better than they are now.

The stress from the school is making me and my mom lose touch and it makes me sad...

I want so much to just let it all go just give up, but I can't stop caring.  If I didn't care so much about school this whole phase would be much easier.  But I know I can get good grades when I am my normal self, I am just afraid of losing those grades because I'm not back to normal yet.

The greatest connection I have with anyone is my mom, and I don't want to lose that because of some teachers at some stupid school.  My health and my family come before school any day of the week and no one can convince me otherwise.  What was I doing before kindergarten?  I was bonding with my mom and my brother.  I was getting sick with fevers over 100 and was trying to get better.  They come first, no matter how the school or the teachers want me to prioritize I am sticking to the values that I was raised with.

I just hope I can raise my children to care, but not care to the point of stressing themselves out.  I don't want them to be the carefree low grade students, but I don't want them to put as much pressure on themselves as I put on myself.



Everything is falling apart and it feels like my fault... I don't know what to do...
       ~Rosie


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